The Tartan

The Beach Boys’ 1963 anthem of educational patriotism, “Be True to Your School,” opens with the following lyrics: 

“When some loud braggart tries to put me down

And says his school is great

I tell him right away

Now what’s the matter buddy

Ain’t you heard of my school

It’s number one in the state (Hey, hey! Take it away! Get that ball and fight!)”

I predict you probably laughed reading those six lines of 20th century verse, or at least exhaled slightly sharply. Yes, these lines are funny. Yes, the level of school pride that “Be True to Your School” displays is a bit over the top.

The truth is that school spirit is pretty silly. It doesn’t really matter that much in the grand scheme of things if one college beats another in a Tuesday football game, or if the grammar club wins the state spelling bee. Yet, students across every campus in America care. 

But here at Carnegie Mellon, it often seems like a lot of people don’t. There is a lot of cynicism to be had towards our future alma mater. Every day I’m sure you hear a complaint about something (typically in the department of broken water fountains or bad weather) and someone riffing off the old standard: “That’s Carnegie Mellon for you!” 

So why is there such cynicism about being a Tartan? Perhaps it has to do with how serious our student body is. 

Carnegie Mellon can be an easy scapegoat for our own problems. When we procrastinate for a week and suddenly have to cram, it’s easy to throw the blame on something else — and the school that gave you the work in the first place is a pretty easy target. 

At a school as rigorous as our dear old Tech, it’s easy for work to define our lives. After all, our hearts are in the work. But when our hearts are too much in the work, I believe it can lead to an overly-serious outlook on life. 

The typical syllogism is as follows: Work is serious. Life is defined by work. Therefore, life must be serious too. Wrong, I say! This sentiment is where much of our trouble lies. After spending an incalculable time at a desk calculating and computing, the “silly” things in life seem absurd and therefore pointless. What’s the logic behind them? Why do them at all? 

This brings us back to school spirit. If school spirit is silly, and silly things are clearly illogical, why should we take part in school spirit? 

Because it’s silly, man! 

Life is not a series of strict equations evaluating the positive and negative outcomes. It is a one-time game, where perhaps there isn’t a point to doing things we deem nonsensical — which is precisely why we should do them. By engaging in a world of illogical traditions and activities, we balance out the scales, allowing us to feel more fulfilled. 

When we view everything in the world in black and white, we become cynics. And to a cynic, everyone’s a crook. So when it’s cloudy outside for the fifteenth day in a row, it’s that old easy target: Carnegie Mellon’s fault. Illogically liking your school makes no sense anyway. 

But maybe we should take a look at ourselves before we blame all of our problems on Carnegie Mellon. Maybe not everything is the fault of that evil scotty dog twiddling his maniacal paws, because maybe we are just blaming things for the very sake of blaming them. 

I’d like to end this piece just as I started it: with some rather silly song lyrics from our very own Kiltie Band. But this time, consider them a bit more, for they might ring true to you more than before.

“Dear old Tech – Carnegie Tech,

It’s the best of all the schools I ever knew.

Dear old Tech – Carnegie Tech,

Where every single fellow is true blue,

When I go a-strolling out through Schenley,

Tech’s the only place that takes my eye,

And when I’m far away from Pittsburgh,

I’ll remember you, Tech, till I die.”